The Wolverine: We Can Do Better

Darren Aronofsky was supposed to direct this. Goddamnit.

The reviews for this movie have actually been quite good, and I was excited to see how it would fit into the burgeoning canon of X-Men films Marvel has been making for about a decade now. In fact, it was supposed to rewrite some source material issues from 2009's X-Men Origins: Wolverine and help play into the much-anticipated 2014 release, X-Men: Days of Future Past.
 
The movie was a letdown, given its hype, and I feel foolish for expecting more, frankly.

Logan has retreated to the Canadian wilderness following the events of The Last Stand, and is considerably troubled by the death of Jean Grey. As he tries to forget his past, an acquaintance from the Second World War summons him to Tokyo to repay a great debt, and Logan is forced to confront his past, and deal with The Wolverine, in more ways than one. Here's how I scored it:

Story: 2/5 - Toward the end of the movie I began scoring these categories in my mind, and I was about to give this a 3. The story is actually pretty fun for most of the movie, but, without saying much, the twist is predictable and a bit silly, and it dredges up a ton of questions that really break the suspension of disbelief at the worst possible moment: the climax of the film.

Writing: 2/5 - I would let a Wolverine movie get away with a lot in this category, but they only refer to the character's tropes once or twice, Bub. It is cut-and-paste action film dialogue, and while I appreciated the story and the conflicts inside of Logan, the characters struggle to articulate any of it effectively because they come out sounding like your six-year-old cousin's action figure dialogue.

Acting: 3/5 - Hugh Jackman refuses to let an audience be bored. He is one of the most fun actors in Hollywood, and he was born for this role to boot. That being said, he was basically the only white actor in the movie, and the draw on East Asian talent is a mixed bag. There were a number of veteran Japanese and Korean actors that did a solid job, but the producers made the decision to cast Japanese models for the female parts, and they really underwhelm (though Rila Fukushima puts forth a game effort). Still, I could just watch Jackman run around in mutton chops making sarcastic remarks for two hours.

Aesthetics: 2/5 - The action scenes were uninspired and the shots were uncreative. Even the score seemed out of place at many points, and, except for one shot of Jackman chopping wood in a muscle shirt while wood chips spray the audience, the 3D is completely wasted. Enjoy your $3 you hacks. Fuck you, 3D.

Final Score: 45%