Album Review: Starbomb

Starbomb is something quite special. And not for everybody. It's a band that consists of two of my personal favorite internet personalities, cartoonist Arin "Egoraptor" Hanson and Ninja Sex Party. Ninja Sex Party is a two-man band, with Danny Sexbang (or Leigh Daniel Avidan for you sophisticated folk) and Ninja Brian (or
Brian Wecht, a theoretical physicist working at Queen Mary, University of London, studying string theory and supersymmetry). Arin and Danny co-host Game Grumps on Youtube together, so you can already tell even on the album's intro track that they have incredible chemistry. Arin is usually the rapper on these tracks, while Danny delivers the hooks with his incredibly unique voice and Ninja Brian does an amazing job on the production of each track.

The album itself contains 11 video game themed songs, featuring tons of popular Nintendo characters. This is obviously a comedy album, but it is put together extremely well. The tracks are usually parodying a specific
part of a game, placing the characters in strangely adult situations with a crazy amount of dick jokes. But it works. Oh boy, does it work.

I Choose You to Die (9/10)-Arin's rapping is a little bit clunky on this, but that's mostly due to the awesome Pokemon puns in this song. The track tells the story of how Ash Ketchum had nothing in life after beating the Elite Four, so he turned to beating his Pokemon and got arrested for domestic violence. The song is good enough, but is made fantastic by Danny's hooks. His ability to make jokes while keeping with beat and tune of the song really stands out here.

Luigi's Ballad (8/10)-Danny plays the part of Luigi on this song, with Arin as Mario and Rachel Bloom guest appearing as Princess Peach. This is essentially a fight between the Mario Bros. about which one of them Peach should love more. Danny plays a sincere Luigi, trying to make Peach fall for him, while Mario is much more aggressive an obnoxious. Again, Danny's vocals top Arin's rapping, but there's not enough of Danny on this song, in my opinion. Arin also did an animated music video for the song, which you can check out here:

It's Dangerous to Go Alone (7/10)-This one is about that old man in the cave in the original Zelda games that gives Link his first sword. But in Starbomb's version, the old man (Danny) is trying to give Link (Arin) a penis sword. It's such a strange song, with a few too many dick jokes, but I liked how Liberty City and Raccoon City were tossed into the song, just for more references. Dan's vocals are great again, Arin's rapping is actually better than the previous songs, and the "chilled out groove" on this song is one of Ninja Brian's best.

Meet Arin

Mega Marital Problems (8/10)-Mega Man (Arin) and his wife (Dan) are arguing about their monotonous sex life on this one, with Dr. Wily (Dan again) is acting as their therapist. The premise seems weird, but it actually ends up being pretty funny, especially when Zero (more Danny) shows up at the end, trying to steal Mega Man's wife. As Zero, Danny shows off his crazy vocal range and it's amazing. The song flows great and the majority of it is about Mega Man fighting robot masters to gain better sex skills, which is silly enough to work.

Rap Battle: Ryu vs. Ken (10/10)-This song is a quick one, but it features Ryu and Ken from Street Fighter duking it out with rhymes rather than fists. Ryu (Arin) tries really hard and Arin does it really well, while Ken (Danny) can't rhyme on beat and doesn't care as much about it as Ryu. Obviously Ryu wins with some ridiculous rhymes and kicks Ken in "his scrotums".

Crasher-Vania (10/10)-This is probably my favorite song on the album. It's extremely catchy and Danny's hooks are incredible. His hooks are accompanied with harmonies done by himself, which makes them even better. This is also the song with the lowest amount of dick jokes, which was refreshing after being bombarded by them early on. Arin does a great Dracula accent and tells the true story of Castlevania: Simon is mad that Dracula never invites him to his monster mashes. Here's a clip from the song (also Arin kisses Ninja Brian):

The Book of Nook (7/10)-Arin is Tom Nook on this track, portraying him as the ruthless mayor of Animal Crossing. He cleverly works in the other non-residents in the game, but this track only features a short hook from Danny, which is not enough.

Sonic's Best Pal (9/10)-Another great job by Ninja Brian, as Danny raps over a high-tempo beat, telling the story of Sonic and his pals having a good time and enjoying life. The beat then transitions to a heavy metal track, as Arin screams as a PCP-addicted Tails the Fox. The song is hilarious, the beats and transitions are great, and Danny's happiness works so well with Arin and Tails' rage and craziness.

Regretroid (9/10)-Arin tells the story of Samus Aran on this track and how enemies get a lot softer when they find out she's a girl. Danny does a great job as Kraid, with a great mixture of rapping and singing. Emily

And meet Danny

Valentine guests as Samus and works really well off of Danny's reluctant Kraid.

Kirby's Adventure in Reamland (2/10)-This song is terrible. Plain and simple. Kirby is probably my favorite video game character (and my main in Smash Bros), but this song was just plain disturbing. I couldn't enjoy it, it didn't make me laugh, it just gave me an uncomfortable feeling. Danny's vocals are the only redeeming quality.

The Simple Plot of Final Fantasy 7 (10/10)-Arin plays Cloud Strife in this song, which takes place during a talk show interview. Other characters such as Donkey Kong and Pac-Man state the plots of their games, which are never more than a few words, while Cloud constantly interrupts host Danny to relay the "simple" plot of his game. It's a really funny song, with a lot of classic video game references and Arin's verses flow really well.

Overall, this album gets a 8.5/10. I love these two acts and they're great when combined. They teased a next album, which they then confirmed, on the outro track of the album and I cannot wait for it. Maybe a few less dick jokes next time. Just a few. Please.

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Game Review: The Walking Dead: Season 2 (Episode 1: All That Remains)

This post contains spoilers for both The Walking Dead and The Walking Dead: Season 2 games.

Telltale has done it again. After making us all feel like the vulnerable human beings we are in last year's masterpiece of a game, The Walking Dead, the geniuses at Telltale provide us with the next chapter of the epic game series. Season 2 begins a few months after where the first game left off. Clementine is now the playable character, replacing Lee Everett, who met an unfortunate end at the end of the first game. A post-credits scene in that game showed Clem finding two figures in a large field, after abandoning Lee to begin her journey alone. These two figures ended up being Omid and Christa, the only two KNOWN survivors of the season 1 group, other than Clem. Clem, Omid, and Christa appear to wander for a few months, which brings us to where Season 2 begins. And where I started going crazy. And where the spoilers for the new game start.

Right off the bat, you can tell this game is going to be darker than the last. First off, you're playing as a little girl who knows how to kill. Also, the theories about Christa being pregnant are confirmed, as she has a huge stomach and the opening scene contains an argument over whether or not to name the baby Omid. Clem and her two companions stop at an abandoned rest stop, which is actually the one that appears several times in the 400 Days DLC for the first game. Clem heads into the bathroom (which has a nice TV show reference in it; "TBone is da illest" is carved into a stall) to clean up and hides in a stall when another teenage girl walks in. The girl finds Clem and begins to interrogate her at gun point, at which point Omid tries to sneak in, fails, and is shot and killed. This was pretty jarring for me, as it came before the opening credits even rolled and Omid was advertised as a kinda "look who's back" character. Christa comes in, shoots the girl, and her and Clem travel north together for 16 months. When we flash forward, Christa's baby bump is gone obviously, but there is no baby. Hm. Some men then try to attack the two ladies and Clem escapes and floats down a river. She wakes up and walks down a forest trail and meets a dog.The dog and Clem search for food and everything seems fine, until she finds some and the dog attacks her. Clem kicks the dog back and it gets impaled on spikes. This is where you can REALLY tell that this is a darker game. Your first major decision is whether or not you want this little girl to kill the suffering animal. I needed to take a break after this part.

The next part of the game is where you meet your new companions. Pete and Luke find Clem, suffering from hunger and blood loss, about to be got by the getters. They carry her back to their group, but not before Luke freaks out about the dog bite on the way. Pete believes that it was a dog, while Luke is more hesitant and upset that Clem killed the dog. Pete seems to be more understanding so far, but Clem sees a more

Meet Pete!

welcoming friendliness in Luke. Some assholes want to kill Clem, one asshole (Nick) almost shoots her when she wakes up, and then Carlos, the doctor, comes to take a look at her. The group decides to wait until morning to make sure it really is a dog bite, then they'll clean it. So far, the only non-complete assholes in the group are Luke, Pete, and Alvin. The group of jerks lock Clem in a shed, which she promptly breaks out of. She then breaks into the house and you have to find peroxide, a needle, and bandages so she can fix her arm. Clem gets all this stuff, meets Carlos' daughter Sarah, runs back to the shed, and you then have to stitch up the dog bite, step-by-step. I could barely get through this part. The only blood I can deal with is Game of Thrones quick cuts with a sword, but having to look at Clem's cut while she stitches it up, screaming in agony, made me have to take another break.

After this, Clem is attacked by a walker and the group appreciates her toughness. They decide that she's lasted long enough without a fever, so they FINALLY treat her dog bite. Clem then has the choice to accept Nick's apology (Nick being the guy who almost shot her when she woke up originally). You can also choose to tell Luke all about Lee and the old group and then choose to make friends with Rebecca or confront her about who her baby belongs to. She's really mean and I hope she dies soon. Anyway, the next day, Clem, Pete and Nick go out to hunt and find a bunch of corpses, one being Roman from 400 Days. Clem then finds a survivor, who also has her backpack, who she recognizes as someone from the woods at the start of the game. Pete is then attacked and visibly bitten, then attacked again, and you have to choose whether to go with Nick or Pete during the attack. The episode ends with Clem running off with whoever you choose.

I really enjoyed this first episode and believe that this series has the potential to be better than the first game. It's much more difficult to play as a child, when you want people to like you and help you because you know you can't live with no friends, but you also don't want to be nice to some people. It was much easier with Lee because you knew you would always have Clementine and SOMEBODY would be on your side, but with Clem, you need to pick your sides carefully. I loved this new challenge and can't wait for the next episode, which hopefully comes out sometime next month.

My Choices:

• I chose to distract the men in the woods to help Christa
• I chose to kill the dog
• I chose to make friends with Sarah
• I chose to accept Nick's apology
• I chose to save and go with Pete

Film Review: Jobs

I don't know how to describe this movie. You have to watch it to appreciate... whatever it is. Make no mistake, it is not good. It is not the world's worst movie, but I would not recommend it either.

There were a lot of good names attached to the movie, Ashton Kutcher and Josh Gad among them, and it was selected to close the Sundance Film Festival. But it was not developed by a major studio and had just a $12 million budget. Ultimately it feels cheap and, while ambitious, incomplete.

Story: 2/5 - Look, it's the story of Steve Jobs's life as he drops out of university and founds Apple Computer, gaining clients and investors and turning it into a major industry powerhouse. Unfortunately, the film does not do a good job of telling the story. I hope you didn't want to care when Jobs throws his pregnant girlfriend out of his house and his life, because you don't have any reason to. When he snaps at a friend and the friend tells another character that Jobs has 'changed,' we don't ever really know why. The pacing is awful.

Writing: 1/5 - This scene actually happens: Steve Jobs presents the Apple II at a computer fair, but which I mean he shows the case, says it will revolutionize the industry, then basks in a standing ovation as an actual, I swear to God, electric guitar solo cuts into the overlay. It's that kind of movie.

Acting: 2.5/5 - I don't hate Kutcher. I actually kind of like him. But he's not right for this role. He's game, you can tell he is passionate about his character, but it just doesn't work. The guy who played Kelso can't be the same guy who dumps his pregnant girlfriend and tears a swath of destruction through silicon valley - it's a level of intensity that doesn't make sense for him. There are some other decent performances in the movie: Josh Gas as inventor/co-founder Steve Wozniak, JK Simmons as tech investor Arthur Rock.

Aesthetics - 2/5 - Cinematographer Russell Carpenter won an Oscar in 1997 for Titanic. He's alright, and the movie is shot fairly well. The sets are pretty good, too. What really hurts the movie is the soundtrack. It sounds cheap, and a lot of the editing is poor as well (both audio and visual).

Total Score: 38% - Walter Isaac wrote a fantastic biography of Jobs. Read that. Or wait for the Sony Pictures movie version of it. Just don't watch Jobs.

A Monthly Dose of Westeros: Part 7-Sansa Stark

I guess it’s not-so-monthly now...but still, I will be providing my thoughts and predictions for one storyline every month until the show’s return. Since I have read the books, I know what should happen, but several plots seem to be taking turns away from the original material, while others are almost spot on. I will examine these apparent changes/accuracy, and do my best to avoid spoilers in “A Monthly Dose of Westeros”.

Sansa Stark is probably one of the most show's most hated characters. Not because she's a monster like Joffrey  Baratheon or because she burned down Winterfell like Theon Greyjoy or because she orchestrated a mass murder/wedding like Walder Frey and Roose Bolton. Sansa is hated because she's a princess. A lot of people think she's a bitchy little girl who only wants to be princess and get what she wants. But, that's what girls were in medieval times. Noble girls were groomed to be noble women when they grew up. Sansa is a product of her upbringing and that should be a reason to hate her. Sure, she's dumb sometimes, but she has gotten smarter as her situation has gotten worse and worse. Remember, she's being held captive by one of the most evil people in the realm. She's watched her father die, her direwolf lasted a single episode, her sister ran away without her, and her oldest brother and mother are dead, and she was forced to marry a drunken dwarf after being freed from Joffrey. I don't fault her for being stupid sometimes. Actually, she's one of my favorite characters. I love defending her and I do everything in my power to make people understand that Sansa is not that bad. It gets better.

It's difficult to say what's coming up for Sansa without giving too much away, so instead I'll just give a quick recap of season three Sansa and hopefully make this post long enough to allow me to include a bunch of pretty pictures of Sophie Turner. Anyway, Sansa's betrothal to Joffrey was broken off as Margaery Tyrell was brought into the picture. Sansa is still a captive in King's Landing, but Littlefinger has promised that when he leaves the

What a wedding!

city, he would bring her along with him. Sansa then meets up with Loras Tyrell, who she has a major crush on, and the two get along swimmingly. Unfortunately for Sansa, Loras is gay and also about to be forced to marry Cersei. This is when things get weird. Tyrion Lannister is now being forced to marry Sansa and has to break the news to her in front of Shae. On top of this, Littlefinger departs for the Vale without Sansa and she starts to cry. Then Tyrion and Sansa have a nice wedding, he chooses not to bed her until she's ready, and Shae appreciates that. Sansa and Tyrion begin to understand one another better and actually get along pretty well. Sansa doesn't realize it yet, but Tyrion is the only Lannister who truly cares about her well-being and this marriage makes her pretty damn safe. Just when things are beginning to go well, the Red Wedding happens. Tyrion is sent to break the news to Sansa, but she has already found out, and any good feelings they were starting to get towards each other disappear with one sad look:

She ain't forgivin' him

Sansa's story does improve. Just trust me. She's older and smarter than she has been in previous seasons. She's been forced to adapt to being a captive and she knows that she can't be a princess. For non-book readers, there are several points where you would think this story has hit a dead end and there's no more they can do with this character. Then Blackwater and the Tyrells happened. Then Tyrion happened. In this next season, there will be another major shakeup to Sansa's story that I'm hoping will cause the Sansa-hate to decrease. 

Sansa is one of the biggest pawns in the game of thrones, but in a few seasons, I feel she will be a major player. If you take a minute to rethink Sansa Stark, she might become one of your favorite characters as well.

Film Review: Mud

Just when I started to get down on 2013 in film.

Now, technically Mud may be considered a 2012 release - it debuted at Cannes in May of 2012, but was not widely released until the beginning of 2013. It was a smart choice to hold it off for this year, as 2012 offered much stiffer competition where critical acclaim is concerned -- and critics have loved Mud, which currently has the year's 11-th best score (98%) on RottenTomatoes. In fact, the Mud screener was the first DVD sent out to Academy Award voters. 

The film is virtually flawless, and cements Jeff Nichols among the best young directors in Hollywood. His other films (Shotgun Stories, Take Shelter) have some of the same tone, and he reminds me of a visual Cormac McCarthy. The abrupt violence, the pacing, and the gritty tone of his movies reeks of high literature, and Mud is his best film so far - a fine director operating at the very pinnacle of the art.

Unlike McCarthy, the film operates on more than a depressingly real level - as frustrating and close as the story is, there is a higher purpose - the story is about love. Ellis (a brilliant Tye Sheridan) and his friend Neckbone discover a man (McConaughey) who calls himself Mud on the shores of rural Deep South, USA. As Mud strains to reunite with his own forbidden love, Ellis, 14, is coming to terms with girls in his own right while watching his parents grow distant.

The film doubles as a Bildungsroman ('coming-of-age') story for Ellis, as he discovers what love is, what the point of love is, and what it means to be a man.

--

Story: 5/5 - The plot does its best to remain subtle while presenting very clear, classic themes. Love. Redemption. Maturation. Much like a McCarthy novel, the story is very plain, very real, and very, for lack of a better word, American.

Writing: 5/5 - This is how people talk in real life. There was not a single instance of a character saying something to explain something to the audience or further the plot. Again, McCarthy - these people are defined by their actions, and the story being told is the story of what they do - what they say is academic. That being said, there is some absolutely thrilling dialogue, and McConaughey is given some terrific moments to shine:

Acting: 5/5 - Matthew McConaughey deserves Oscar buzz for his performance, and I think he will get it. From the movies I have seen in 2013, it is he and Tom Hanks (Captain Phillips) against the field. Tye Sheridan, all of 15 at the time of filming, deserves talk as well (and not just for MTV 'best kiss' awards). The supporting cast all stands out: Michael Shannon (Boardwalk Empire, Man of Steel), Sam Shepard (The Assassination of Jesse James), and Ray McKinnon (Deadwood) were all perfect casting choices and all do their jobs perfectly.

Aesthetics: 5/5 - Adam Stone as cinematographer is good, not great, as he has been in Nichols's past work. The reason I thought the aesthetic of the film was perfect was how everything came together to create a flawless atmosphere. The sets, the costumes, the photography, the soundtrack - when combined with the characters and the actors' abilities it creates a flawlessly real time and place. I've never been anywhere in the States between Raleigh and Orlando (not counting Hartsfield), but I grew up in a similarly rural, economically-depressed, fuck-you-government area, and I have to say that the film triggered some kind of perverse nostalgia. It's Norman Rockwell, it's John Updike, it's Nelson Algren - the film is a Polaroid of a culture, and it accomplishes this with authority.

Final Score: 100% - I couldn't find a flaw in this movie. It's a drama, of course, so it's not for everyone - but if you like and/or appreciate film, this is the must-see movie of the year so far.

A Monthly Dose of Westeros: Part 6-Jon Snow

I guess it’s not-so-monthly now...but still, I will be providing my thoughts and predictions for one storyline every month until the show’s return. Since I have read the books, I know what should happen, but several plots seem to be taking turns away from the original material, while others are almost spot on. I will examine these apparent changes/accuracy, and do my best to avoid spoilers in “A Monthly Dose of Westeros”.

It's been awhile. This post will be a little later than previous ones, thanks to college, so it'll be a bigger one. This time, we'll take a look at everybody's favorite bastard, Jon Snow and the characters he'll interact with next season.

Last we saw Jon, he had arrived at Castle Black after an escape from his wildling "friends" and his lover, Ygritte. On his way home ,Jon and Ygritte went through a messy breakup that left Jon full of arrows and many viewers misty-eyed. In one single heartbreaking scene, both characters' worlds were turned upside down.

I mean, look at these two. They're young kids in love, who can't be together because they're supposed to be fighting a war against each other. Jon has that Stark sense of duty and honor and Ygritte thought she had

shaken that out of him. The look on her face at the end of this scene says it all: you know nothing, Jon Snow, but you are a Stark.

Anyway, here's what we know involving the other characters surrounding Jon's arc. The Night's Watch is badly bloodied and now lacking in numbers. There was a garrison left at Castle Black, but the strength of the Watch was either killed during the Battle of the Fist of the First Men or remains beyond the Wall after the Mutiny at Craster's Keep. Lord Commander Mormont has been murdered by sworn brothers, with Rast and Karl leading the assault. The two now lead the remains of the Watch at Craster's. We don't know the locations of Grenn, Pyp, and Dolorous Edd (hopefully they're all alive). Samwell Tarly escaped Craster's with Gilly and her baby, killed a White Walker, sent Bran Stark and friends beyond the Wall, and returned to Castle Black. Sam was then instructed by Maester Aemon to send ravens to the great lords of Westeros requesting aid against the coming force of the Walkers. This is the same time that Jon returns, arrow-filled and barely conscious. Meanwhile, Tormund Giantsbane is leading an army of

wildlings, which includes Ygritte, towards Castle Black. Thanks to Jon, the group knows where and when to strike.

That's a lot of information to process. We also learned that Stannis Baratheon is preparing to head north, being the only one to answer the call from the Wall. With Stannis coming from the south, Tormund sneaking in the back, and Mance Rayder marching towards the Wall, it looks like we're in for one hell of a fight.

Next season will be Jon Snow's season. No doubt about it. Jon's storyline in the second half of A Storm of Swords has a ton in it and, if everything works out perfectly, we should get a couple battles, a few sad moments, and a few moments of triumph all in a span of ten weeks. Clearly we have at least one huge battle to look forward to, since a bunch of huge forces are coming to Castle Black. The ninth episode of the next season is actually (at least tentatively) titled "Castle Black", and is being directed by Neil Marshall. Marshall was the man behind season two's "Blackwater", so take that as you may.

Many of the characters that are usually surrounding Jon might have a much lesser role to play next season. Sam should fade into the background fro the majority of the season and the rest of the crows we're familiar with are still lost in the woods. Ygritte will obviously still play a huge part in Jon's story, as her and the wildlings are quickly closing in on the remaining crows. For fans of the Stark family, this season could bring some retribution to make up for last year's Red Wedding, but there's still plenty of action left to happen for Jon and his sworn brothers.

Movie Review: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

I won't waste your time with preamble or plot overview. If you live in the Western world and are capable of reading this, you've seen a commercial.

Story: 5/5 - Honestly, I found the story very compelling. The first one was a bit lacking in this regard - it's virtually just Takami's Battle Royale. But this one was so much bigger than the game, with lot of clear motives and compelling emotional impact. It also totally avoided the stupid things that really tugged at the story of the first one (Peeta makes himself up like a log and just lies there until Katniss find him!), which was a big plus. It runs to 146 minutes, but it uses all of that time to tell a much grander story.

Writing: 4/5 - I had no problems with the script, either, which is shocking for a young adult film like this. The producers brought in some heavy hitters to pen the screenplay: Michael Arndt (Oscar win for Little Miss Sunshine, Oscar nom for Toy Story 3, Brave) and Simon Beaufoy (Slumdog Millionaire, 127 Hours) are two of the best in the business, and while this script doesn't deserve Academy Award discussion, it has everything (realism, humour, opportunities for Jennifer Lawrence to speak) and for a film in this genre, is frankly outstanding. I really wish I'd read the book to see if the way the dialogue keeps the viewer up-to-date (perfectly) is something that Collins did in the novel, or something the screenwriters had to add.

Acting: 4/5 - I bet Josh Hutcherson is a really nice guy, but I hate his stupid face and I don't like his acting. That being said, everybody else is great. Donald Sutherland is perfectly arrogant, Woody Harrelson is equal parts frustrating and warm. Jennifer Lawrence is Jennifer Lawrence. Even Elizabeth Banks gets to open up a bit as Effie sees her victors forced into another awful situation.

Aesthetics: 4/5 - Jo Willems is a solid cinematographer, and I look forward to watching his career unfold. 30 Days of Night was pretty dynamic. With a budget of this size ($130 million), of course the effects and editing are going to be great.

Final Score: 85% Grittier and darker than the first one, this film has something for everyone. Just a fun movie.